xoxo
Dec 29, 2008
Navy oh Navy...
So I'm giving real thought into joining the USN [United States Navy] in '09. I clearly need to loose so real weight and work on my running, sit up, push ups, and what not like that. But I'm actually kinda excited about the idea. I'm worried about telling Jamie cause I'm afraid she'll shoot it down, for what ever reason. I haven't even told my parents yet, I've told Curtis and I've asked around on MSOS, and I'm thinking about asking my brother what he thinks. :shrug who knows.
Dec 28, 2008
reposting this here...
(This isn’t aimed really at anyone this is just me venting about something current in my life lol)
I’m 20 years old I’ll be 21 in a matter of a month and some ass backwards days. From today until I’m about 30 is the time that everyone has always preached to me that it’s the time to ‘live’ to be ‘young and reckless’ and that these are the years where I should screw up, in my ‘early years’. Anyone who knows me can tell you I’m pretty square, yeah my corners a little round, but they’re still there. I swear like a sailor, I’ll drink every once in a while, I’ll hit someone, my mind at times scares the hell out of me because of the “evil” thoughts frolicking through it. And I’m as perverted as any guy. Those are what makes my corners a little rounder then most. I know I’m one hell of a scandal, People magazine are going to be putting me on the front of their cover right next to Pairs Hilton. So if I want to embrace my early 20’s, my “reckless years” how is that a bad thing? I’m a 20 year old virgin who happens to think that giving head it fun! So sue me!
I meet this guy off the internet who lives around me, I haven’t had anyone to hang out other then my parents and Dan & Brian, since January ‘08, so I wanted to hang out with him and I do. And yeah he was asking for me to give him head so what big deal, I did, I have, I liked it and I want his dumb ass to call me again so that we can hang out. For two reasons, one of them is so I can practice more on Call of Duty 4 and yeah the other one is so I can do it again. So I finally told my best friend what’s been going on and she’s like telling me to be careful and stuff. And that guys normally put girls into categories (marriage material, good friends, and sluts (good for one thing) then she said ‘seems to me your putting yourself into the last one’. Well first when she started talking like all that it put me on the defense but then I just remembered that she’s just looking out for me. I get that and I can appreciated that, but I don’t appreciate the fact that- like I’m sure anyone is going to think who reads this - that I’m allowing him to use me.
I mean what if it was the other way around? What if I was using him? Because I like blowing him, and I like the fact that I get to hang out with a guy and he lets me play his XBOX 360 (live thank you very much *teehee*). And yeah he’s got a girl, but my way of thinking, he knows very well he’s got a girl, he knows what he’s risking he’s 27 fucking years old if he can’t figure it out well then that’s between them two. She knows I’m hanging out with him, he tells her when I’m coming over. So it’s not like we’re all hush-hush about me hanging out with him. And it’s not like I blow and go, we hang out talk- and on that note let me say out of everyone I know he has one fucked up childhood. We play COD4 and honestly I’m feeling emotionally better then I have in a long time. I’m getting out of the house, I’m hanging out with someone who’s closer to my own age then most people I’ve been hanging out with *cough 40 year olds cough*
I am in no way saying that blowing a man in a relationship is right, or the good ‘respectable young lady thing to do’ or morally right. But know what? Right now I don’t give a rats ass. When I’m older I might have wished I hadn’t done it, but at least I won’t be able to sit there and wonder ‘what if…’. I’m not the first woman to screw around with a guy who’s in a relationship of any kind, I know the risk factors, I know that he knows them and I know that his girlfriend is alright with me hanging out with him. Is she had a problem with me hanging out with him I might not hang out with him. I am also not the last woman to screw around with a guy in a relationship.
So yeah, I think I’m done. XD
Also just a reminder that this is not aimed at anyone, just the general public, for my own personal amusement so that way I can get it off my chest.
xoxo
Tatiana
Dec 27, 2008
Forgot this ealier
I forgot to mention that I figured out a possible trend with me and guys that I like. The past 3 guys (in a row) that I've really had anything to do with have children- daughters thus far. And the kids aren't really a part of their life, but they talk about the kid(s) and have pictures of them around/with them. So in a way they are part of their lives, just not living with them. I wonder if that's part of like my baby-feaver crap that I'be had going on for a while now. They should really make a pill for that... *sigh*
Anyways just something I've noticed that I thought I'd add to my little plethora of crap!
xoxo
Anyways just something I've noticed that I thought I'd add to my little plethora of crap!
xoxo
Dec 26, 2008
Ke-th-up
Ok so... ya'll know that my nephew was born so I don't have to tell you that, but I'll try and post more pictures of his ubber cuteness laterz. Part of the reason that I've been neglecting you is because of the fact that I got MY wow back. I got "Rown" back- I kinda did a mild over hall of her -
That's the 'new' her, her relm is on there too, so I've been on there. I am so close to getting her to lvl 30 so I can get her damn mount! The once I get the mount (Jamie if you want me too) I'll run you around or what everz.
Um... lets see..
I don't think anything really happened this week, Christmas we didn't really 'celebrate' it in the sense of giving presents and stuff like that. Most likely we'll wait until January to do that, because by the end of this month sometime next month we should be even closer to being caught up with all the bills and I should have a job so... But we did end up going over to Dan and Brian's Dan- naturally -made an AMAZING dinner! It was so great! I was so full I ended up taking a nap. Then once my Grandma, Great Aunt and her hubby along with Brian's parents left we pulled out their WII and their WII fitness board and I did some Yoga poses it was really cool. Then we put that board away and just played a lot of games, like Trivia, Cow Racing, Bowling, Darts (I WON! lol), um... and some other ones too. It was really pretty cool. I now really want a WII if nothing else for the Fitness board I could really see myself getting into that.
Then today we just chilled out went around to some stores Goodwill once again kicked ass! Because last time we went to the same store I picked up a GE (I believe) wireless mouse that is like brand new! Not a scratch on the thing for like 6.99. Then tonite I picked up Sims 2: University for .99!!! It's pretty bad ass! So I have another tab up down loading 'Young Adults' to play that on. It's pretty nifty!
Laterz!
xoxo
Dec 20, 2008
Aydan Nathanel My Nephew! <3
At 2.00 Pm on the 19th of this month the best thing my brother ever came me was born via C-Section at Holland Hospital in Michigan, USA. His name is Aydan Nathanel Jolly [we’re not sure on the spelling though], he’s about 8 pounds even and 27” long. We haven’t had a real chance to talk to them since Aydan was born. We tried calling them last night at around 7, but poor Stephanie had finally gotten to sleep so we didn’t get to talk to her and my brother was tired so we didn’t get to talk to him for longer then 10 minuets I think. So we’ll try and call them again today and I’ll spread the word of what they say lol. I think my mom said that they said he had dark hair, but I’m not sure. Oh! And I promise the minuet I get pictures of the little guy you all we get them too. 
I just can’t believe how exited I am about meeting the little dude, though I’m kinda worried he won’t like me
Silly I know
but still. Its all crazy to think that my brother had a baby! He procreated! That means he and his wife had sex! I mean before the little guy I could just pretend they were like every other married couple with little to no sex life, but now they got the little kid to prove they have one… ewwwwwwwwwww. That’s just wrong! I mean on the one hand it just doesn’t seem right that we’re old enough to be married, have kids, be worried about mortgages and all those other big ass words with their big ass worries. I mean weren’t we just worrying about if we’ll get recess or not? Its just going way too fast and it’s scary because yeah my brothers doing ok, but he’s always been the type of guy who does ok. But fucking aye! What about me? :S What’s going to happen when I move out on my own, get a job, get married, have a kid(s) and all that crap? I mean I still have to go to college and do all that crap! It’s ridiculous! (and every time I say/think/type that word I think I Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban :doh! Yes I know I’m sad).
Sry just having another freak out about life and if I’m going to make it or not. At least I’m not in the fetal position crying like a little baby like I was on my 19th birthday… yeah it was bad.
I just can’t believe how exited I am about meeting the little dude, though I’m kinda worried he won’t like me
Sry just having another freak out about life and if I’m going to make it or not. At least I’m not in the fetal position crying like a little baby like I was on my 19th birthday… yeah it was bad.
Dec 8, 2008
Being reunited with WOW
Is amazing! A friend is letting me play on their account- now granted it’s not my girl Rown -but hey I ain‘t about to look a gift horse in the mouth. And being back on WOW is amazingly wonderful! I knew I missed it but I didn’t think I missed it this much. Even my less then reliable internet connection can’t dampen my mood! It’s great!
I should of made another hunter though I miss my long rang weapons lol I’m a warrior this time round and it’s kinda weird I almost sold a real nice piece of mail because I’m like ‘Oh I’m a hunter I can’t wear mail’ but then I was like ‘OH SNAPS! That’s not right!’ so luckly I didn’t sell it lol but almost.
Anyways I’m heading back online to play WoWzers! :D
xoxo
Tatiana
Dec 7, 2008
Dec 4, 2008
Just a quick happier thought...
I love it when I can look out the window and be taken aback by the beauty of nature. Despite the curlew dismal black, whites and grays of the world. Fresh bright colors like I’m seeing them for the first time, sometimes I wonder if this is what it’s like for a new born they open their eyes and their world explodes with such vibrate beautiful colors. Nothing seems real, but yet at the same time it all seems too real. It’s beautiful and breath taking and I love it!
From my spot in the library all the way on the 3rd floor I can look to my right and see outside to a beautiful and vibrant world, and the tops of the trees some of the decorated with Spanish moss others reaching further up to the sky. Behind it I can see the roof top of a Spanish style house with it’s brick red top, it sticks out like a beautiful sore thumb it makes me wonder what has that house seen? And what does it have yet to see?
Nature has a beautiful way of bring things back to life, something once to hard and dead can come back to life more beautiful and vibrant then before. It’s amazing and wonderful and it almost makes you wonder how you could have had ever thought of leaving such a fresh and beautiful world.
I’ll have to bring my camera tomorrow and try and take a picture that could do it justice until then I’m off to get my dad…
xoxo
Tatiana
Dreams of a Dreamer and the Owners of a Broken Heart…
Last night I had probably the most realistic dreams I’ve had in a while. I had gotten up from my bed gone to the kitchen grabbed a knife went and sat in my tub and cut the shit out of my upper arms and I was just sitting in a tub full of blood. It didn’t gross me out, it was actually so tempting I woke up and laid in bed wondering if I should really do it. In my dream it felt great! Like I was cleansing myself or something, cleansing myself of my depression, of my heartache just everything. It just felt so amazing to have all of that lifted off my shoulders for once to not have to think about it to not have to worry ‘Is today the day I finally break?’
On a happier note I always had a dream where I kept French braiding my hair, which is like so impossible because I can’t French braid my own hair lol it doesn’t look good at all!
Also I’ve finally come to admit that there are 3 men at the current time who own my heart, as broken and duck taped as it is. In no particular order;
-Blayne Tallent
-Curtis Wilson
And
-Kyle Helmuth [even though he’s like the biggest pain in the ass EVER to walk in and out of my life!] So yeah…
xoxo
Tatiana
Dec 3, 2008
The Reason I don’t mind making 9-10 O’clock groceries runs…
Because if I go to the Publix like up the street and around the corner there is this really cute jail bait that works there as a cashier. He kinda reminds me of TJ in the chatty crazy ass kinda way. lol he’s totally cute in that kid kind of way.
xoxo
Tatiana
Red String...
Since I can't get into the Red String forums I'm going to post this here...
They are supposed to be together for EVERS! damn it! Now fix it Gina fix it now!!! If they don't make it what
hope do the rest of us have? *sigh*
Unclaimed Tears
Unknown Tears
So last night for what ever reason I actually cried myself to sleep, which I haven’t done since I was in MI [my rents were seriously talking about divorce for the first real time] anyways so last night all the sudden I just started to cry and not the little ‘tear…tear… alright I’m good’ no it was the whole ‘sob… whimper… sob… whimper…’ all while I’m crying my own little river. It was horrible because it hurt, my eyes hurt, my throat hurt, my nose hurt, my whole head hurt. It sucked @$$!
But when I woke up I was fine like nothing happened, no headache- which I was very grateful for because those little bastards hurt like hell! And I didn’t have blood shot eyes nothing! I just liked a little pale and like I didn’t sleep well. Course then again I didn’t go to bed until like 1 something, and I had to wake up at like 9 something.
Anyways what’s really bugging me is the fact that I didn’t have a damn clue WHY I was crying, I didn’t know if I was crying because of Blayne, or Curtis, or just because I’m lonely, or because I’m depressed I didn’t have an effing clue as to why I was crying for all I know I could have had been crying for all those reasons and more. As far as I know there wasn’t something that really started it off, but when ever I opened my eyes I’d start all over again. I think I eventually fell asleep with my light on lol but anyways I think I’m done.
xoxo
Tatiana
Dec 2, 2008
Dear Universe,
Seriously is it REALLY necessary to fuck with me every chance you get? I mean isn’t once a year good enough for you? Honestly you’ve moved past just throwing shit at me to chucking them at me. And not just in the bread basket, but at my HEAD! Which if I’m going to amuse you I kinda need that. I’m not a chicken the head goes and I just run around. The head goes and that’s it, shows over, go home. And I seem to amuse you a great deal, because well lets not lie any longer, your constantly fucking with me- and not in the good way -so you must be enjoying something to be wasting so much time on me.
I mean hey I’m all for having an interesting life- woo hoo -but a nice little break would not go unmissed nor ungratified. So lets stop fucking with me, eh? Because honestly if we keep this up you’ll be getting a Gucci heel right up your black hole of an ass! And that will make Jamie cry and we all know it’s not nice to make the retards cry.
So stop FUCKING with me!
Please and thank you!
xoxo
Tatiana
PS: Can you PLEASE stop with the low key signs!?
I mean you know me! You know I don’t pick up on that shit till AFTER when it’s basically written out for me! And even then it takes me a while… So my 18 year old cousin is marring an Airforce guy, my ex-db who’s Army comes back into my life, and my dad (not knowing about the Ex thing) randomly says ‘do you want me to find you a NAVY husband?’ Are all these signs? Like even though I think I’d be a good MSO I really won’t be and you’re trying to stop me or something? Or am I just pulling this out of my ass? Really it’s alright to e-mail me your answer my e-mail is ‘ wildfire1423@gmail.com ‘ you might wanna make sure that you put ‘Answer to Blog’ in the subject other wise I might accidentally delete it.
But really you should make up little snippets of what the fuck is going to happen each month for me, ya’ know give me a little heads up and all that great stuff like that. Because it really won’t hurt my feels if you UNDER estimate me by all means! Please feel free to, I won’t be grudge you in the least- well I hope I won’t -but either way you don’t have to test me so much I apreatiate trying to make me stronger for the real world and everything, but the only kinds of tests Black River/ Holland High and West Ottawa ever taught me to be good at were the kind with multiple choices and little bubbles to fill in. All others I FAIL! I’m talking EPIC FAIL here not just wittle fail no we’re talking life fucking EPIC FAILS here. So yeah… um I think I’m done now… yeah thanks laters.
confessions...
- 57 Girl Confessions
- Is it cute when guys kiss you on your forehead? yes
- A big poofy dress or a short party dress? depends how poofy
- What would you do if you received a long love letter? I might freak out, don't really haven anyone to be getting them from lol
- Group dates or single dates? single
- Do you hate it when guys act different around their friends? yep
- Are diamonds a girl’s best friend? No, Jamie's this girl's best friend.
- Is your hair up or down today? up now
- Do you straighten your hair? sometimess
- Favorite mascara? Cover Girl's lashblast waterproof
- Do you get your nails done? lol about as often as I get tattoos ;)
- Small or large purses? depends on where i'm going. But my main purse right now is large.
- In your purse, what are your must haves? phone, lipgloss, wallet
- Jeans or sweats? i have sleep shorts on now but normally jeans :)
- Do you wear clothes/shoes/jewelry that’s uncomfortable? noo
- Do you text message a lot? yess
- What would you do if you got pregnant? Blame God and have just cause to do so. (I'm a single virgin that doesn't go any where. Yeah not getting peachy any time soon lol)
- What’s your favorite color? Greeeeeeen!
- Heels or flats? i like both
- Did you ever cry during a romantic movie? yeahh
- Would you ever leave the house without make-up on? yeah
- Walmart or Target? tarjay boutique
- Do you wear collared shirts? not really
- Do you like preppy boys? not too much
- Do you think lip gloss is the best!? loveee it
- Do you own any big sunglasses? sure doo
- How long does it take you to get ready in the morning? half hour maybe
- Do you like to wear band-aids? When I was younger I did lol
- Do you like skater boys? um. they are better than preppy boys
- Do you often wish there was something you could change? yeah.
- Gold or silver? silver
- Do you like to receive flowers? yeah.
- Do you like surfer boys? They're up there with sk8ter boys, alright but not the best.
- Do you dress up for the holidays? sometimes
- Do you like to wear dresses? Depends, my style's kinda changing so...it's all up in the air rite now lol
- On a scale of 1-10 how much do guys confuse you? Half the time they confuse me other times I totally get them lol
- In the last 48 hours have you hung out with a guy? nope
- Would you date a guy shorter than you? No, I tried I sorry T_T
- Do you like to hold hands? yes :)
- What is the youngest you would date? 19
- What is the oldest you would date? 25
- What do you notice when you first meet a guy? eyess
- Is it hott when guys sweat? umm...can be
- What is the best feature in a guy? eyess
- Do you like making eye contact? not really
- Would you kill for chocolate? *snort* no
- Did you ever spend all day/night getting pretty for a guy? Close, but no
- On a scale from 1-10 how fun is shopping? It REALLY depends on what I'm shopping for! Clothes -100, electronics/books/music 10,000,00000,00 shoes 5 or 10 lol
- Do you freak out if you miss your favorite show? Kinda not so much any more I'm used to missing them lol
- Do you yell a lot? no
- Do you wear sweatpants/pajamas to school/work? To school once, but it was spirit week.
- Have you ever dressed unlike yourself to impress a guy? no if they don't like the way i dress fuck 'em! [ahmen! Kaylin!]
- Do you write a lot of mushy love poems? no
- What makeup could you not live w/ out? Tinted moisture, mascara, lipgloss
- Do you fall in love easily? not really
- Do you have cramps? nope thanks to El Drugs!!
- Do you think you have the bestest friend ever? yup :)
confessions...
57 Girl Confessions 1. Is it cute when guys kiss you on your forehead? yes 2. A big poofy dress or a short party dress? depends how poofy 3. What would you do if you received a long love letter? I might freak out, don't really haven anyone to be getting them from lol 4. Group dates or single dates? single 5. Do you hate it when guys act different around their friends? yep 6. Are diamonds a girl’s best friend? No, Jamie's this girl's best friend. 7. Is your hair up or down today? up now 8. Do you straighten your hair? sometimess 9. Favorite mascara? Cover Girl's lashblast waterproof 10. Do you get your nails done? lol about as often as I get tattoos ;) 11. Small or large purses? depends on where i'm going. But my main purse right now is large. 12. In your purse, what are your must haves? phone, lipgloss, wallet 13. Jeans or sweats? i have sleep shorts on now but normally jeans :) 14. Do you wear clothes/shoes/jewelry that’s uncomfortable? noo 15. Do you text message a lot? yess 16. What would you do if you got pregnant? Blame God and have just cause to do so. (I'm a single virgin that doesn't go any where. Yeah not getting peachy any time soon lol) 17. What’s your favorite color? Greeeeeeen! 18. Heels or flats? i like both 19. Did you ever cry during a romantic movie? yeahh 20. Would you ever leave the house without make-up on? yeah 21. Walmart or Target? tarjay boutique 22. Do you wear collared shirts? not really 23. Do you like preppy boys? not too much 24. Do you think lip gloss is the best!? loveee it 25. Do you own any big sunglasses? sure doo 26. How long does it take you to get ready in the morning? half hour maybe 27. Do you like to wear band-aids? When I was younger I did lol 28. Do you like skater boys? um. they are better than preppy boys 29. Do you often wish there was something you could change? yeah. 30. Gold or silver? silver 31. Do you like to receive flowers? yeah. 32. Do you like surfer boys? They're up there with sk8ter boys, alright but not the best. 33. Do you dress up for the holidays? sometimes 34. Do you like to wear dresses? Depends, my style's kinda changing so... it's all up in the air rite now lol 35. On a scale of 1-10 how much do guys confuse you? Half the time they confuse me other times I totally get them lol 36. In the last 48 hours have you hung out with a guy? nope 37. Would you date a guy shorter than you? No, I tried I sorry T_T 38. Do you like to hold hands? yes :) 39. What is the youngest you would date? 19 40. What is the oldest you would date? 25 41. What do you notice when you first meet a guy? eyess 42. Is it hott when guys sweat? umm...can be 43. What is the best feature in a guy? eyess 44. Do you like making eye contact? yes 46. Would you kill for chocolate? *snort* no 47.Did you ever spend all day/night getting pretty for a guy? Close, but no 48. On a scale from 1-10 how fun is shopping? It REALLY depends on what I'm shopping for! Clothes -100, electronics/books/music 1000,00000,000 shoes 5 or 10 lol 49. Do you freak out if you miss your favorite show? Kinda not so much any more I'm used to missing them lol 50. Do you yell a lot? no 51. Do you wear sweatpants/pajamas to school/work? To school once, but it was spirit week. 52. Have you ever dressed unlike yourself to impress a guy? no if they don't like the way i dress fuck 'em! [ahmen! Kaylin!] 53. Do you write a lot of mushy love poems? no 54. What makeup could you not live w/ out? Tinted moisture, mascara, lipgloss 55. Do you fall in love easily? not really 56. Do you have cramps? nope thanks to El Drugs!! 57. Do you think you have the bestest friend ever? yup :)
Dec 1, 2008
forgot something... go figure lol
I was talking on the phone with Jamie- go figure, and well she reminded me of the other thing that kinda bugs me about the Twilight movie. Emmett and Rose never really got any sweet 'romantic' time together. And it's like aww, but Emmett actually looks cute! And as much as I think Jasper's hair needs it's own area code, he needed more lines in the movie.
well the Twilight Big People have already confermed that there will be a Twilight deux! So maybe
he'll get more lines in that script and maybe chill his hair out...
little side note while I wait for my smilie page to load-
I just petted Hazel's paw and she went like ape shit over cleaning it! and I just thought- well hell if I'd of have
know you would of have acted like that, I would of had done a better job mucking it up! lol
Oh and I'm TOTALLY stealing this line from Baylee 'And God if I promised you something, I promise I'm not neglecting you.
Just... e-mail me or something...' it was a comment she made basically about how busy she was lol
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JAwwX-ScMj4 Watch it, I agree with it 100% plus it's entertaining... alright my butts to bed nite/morning ya'll
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