(This isn’t aimed really at anyone this is just me venting about something current in my life lol)
I’m 20 years old I’ll be 21 in a matter of a month and some ass backwards days. From today until I’m about 30 is the time that everyone has always preached to me that it’s the time to ‘live’ to be ‘young and reckless’ and that these are the years where I should screw up, in my ‘early years’. Anyone who knows me can tell you I’m pretty square, yeah my corners a little round, but they’re still there. I swear like a sailor, I’ll drink every once in a while, I’ll hit someone, my mind at times scares the hell out of me because of the “evil” thoughts frolicking through it. And I’m as perverted as any guy. Those are what makes my corners a little rounder then most. I know I’m one hell of a scandal, People magazine are going to be putting me on the front of their cover right next to Pairs Hilton. So if I want to embrace my early 20’s, my “reckless years” how is that a bad thing? I’m a 20 year old virgin who happens to think that giving head it fun! So sue me!
I meet this guy off the internet who lives around me, I haven’t had anyone to hang out other then my parents and Dan & Brian, since January ‘08, so I wanted to hang out with him and I do. And yeah he was asking for me to give him head so what big deal, I did, I have, I liked it and I want his dumb ass to call me again so that we can hang out. For two reasons, one of them is so I can practice more on Call of Duty 4 and yeah the other one is so I can do it again. So I finally told my best friend what’s been going on and she’s like telling me to be careful and stuff. And that guys normally put girls into categories (marriage material, good friends, and sluts (good for one thing) then she said ‘seems to me your putting yourself into the last one’. Well first when she started talking like all that it put me on the defense but then I just remembered that she’s just looking out for me. I get that and I can appreciated that, but I don’t appreciate the fact that- like I’m sure anyone is going to think who reads this - that I’m allowing him to use me.
I mean what if it was the other way around? What if I was using him? Because I like blowing him, and I like the fact that I get to hang out with a guy and he lets me play his XBOX 360 (live thank you very much *teehee*). And yeah he’s got a girl, but my way of thinking, he knows very well he’s got a girl, he knows what he’s risking he’s 27 fucking years old if he can’t figure it out well then that’s between them two. She knows I’m hanging out with him, he tells her when I’m coming over. So it’s not like we’re all hush-hush about me hanging out with him. And it’s not like I blow and go, we hang out talk- and on that note let me say out of everyone I know he has one fucked up childhood. We play COD4 and honestly I’m feeling emotionally better then I have in a long time. I’m getting out of the house, I’m hanging out with someone who’s closer to my own age then most people I’ve been hanging out with *cough 40 year olds cough*
I am in no way saying that blowing a man in a relationship is right, or the good ‘respectable young lady thing to do’ or morally right. But know what? Right now I don’t give a rats ass. When I’m older I might have wished I hadn’t done it, but at least I won’t be able to sit there and wonder ‘what if…’. I’m not the first woman to screw around with a guy who’s in a relationship of any kind, I know the risk factors, I know that he knows them and I know that his girlfriend is alright with me hanging out with him. Is she had a problem with me hanging out with him I might not hang out with him. I am also not the last woman to screw around with a guy in a relationship.
So yeah, I think I’m done. XD
Also just a reminder that this is not aimed at anyone, just the general public, for my own personal amusement so that way I can get it off my chest.
xoxo
Tatiana
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